Running for Home
by They-call-me-Sammie
Summary: This fic closely follows the Supernatural show. Though, while it reflects what happens in the show, It deeply explores Destiel as Cannonly as possible. Rated M for future Smut. Lots of delicious angst and what not
1. Chapter 1

This is by far not my first fan fiction, however it is my first Supernatural fiction. I of course do not own the boys or anything to do with Supernatural. I also do not own the Matthew Good song that I named my little fic by. The only real warnings here are that this is a Destiel fic. It is M rated because of BoyxBoy smut later on down the road. :).

This fiction was invented by myself after spending a while re-watching seasons 1 through 8. I LOVE the tension between Cas and Dean but I wanted to know what was going on BEHIND the scenes. I was also a bit tired of reading awesome fan fiction that while being awesome just didn't seem Cannon. My goal in writing this fic is to remain as completely cannon as possible while still getting Destiel ^_^

Prologue

Dean~

Dean could not remember the exact moment that he fell in love with Castiel. He has tried. Lord has he tried. He spent an entire evening with a bottle of whisky, trying to figure it out. He drank glass after glass, relishing the warm burn it caused as it ran down his throat to his stomach as he sorted his thoughts. But no matter how hard he tried he could not think of any one moment that would have made him feel this way. There was no lightning strike moment. No one time that he could remember looking at Cas and deciding with certainty that he was in love with him.

He wished that there were. He imagined it would make him feel better. Some life altering moment when he saw Castiel in a certain way and just knew that he was meant to be with him for the rest of his life. Maybe that would make him feel less... Wrong... Dean had always loved women. Every thing about them. Hell women was one of his weaknesses... so why was it that he loved Castiel with a ferocity that frightened him.

He had been with and loved Lisa sure... but that was before he had fully realized his love for Cas and the fact that the angel loved him in return. Dean could not explain it... but some how his love became stronger when he found out that Cas loved him too.

Castiel~

Castiel could however pin point the moment he fell in love with Dean. At first he didn't even know what it was or what it meant. He just knew that he would die for Dean. He would kill to keep him safe... It wasn't until he started interacting with the boys more did he realize exactly what it was that he felt.

It happened the moment he touched Dean's soul. He had spent days fighting his way through Hell. A holy light among darkness and demons. When he finally found him, his heart fell. The amount of pain this soul had been through... Uriel complained beside him that he believed this to be a waste of time and resources. They had already lost three angels and they still had to get out. Castiel reminded him that it was not their place to question. He reached out and grasped Dean's soul.

Castiel's eyes had widened then. He had seen many souls before. Touched some even. But it was the purity of heart this soul had. The loyalty and devotion to family. The amount of sheer sacrifice to complete strangers. He gripped that soul tight, perhaps tighter than than he should, closer to his chest than perhaps necessary. He knew that Dean was a man but that didn't seem to matter.


	2. Chapter 2

**_AN: Ok peeps here is Chapter 2... So this one might be a little dull because I followed very closely to ' Its the great pumpkin Sam Winchester.' This seemed like the best episode to pick the story up from since its the first time Cas mentions rebellion and its the first time he smiles ^_^. ALL chapters after this will be better. I just needed to pump this one out to set the stage as it were -_- Enjoy!_**

**_/_**

Dean could almost feel his heart breaking for Sam when Uriel uttered the words " Say's who?" Sammy had been so eager to believe in angels. He wanted so badly for them to be real. Hell his eyes lit up when he found out that they were real. As if the very mention of their existence could save him. So when Castiel and Uriel turned up in their motel room, Dean thought that it was going to go fine, even if they were douche bags. Sam would finally meet the Messengers of the Lord and maybe he would begin to see reason.

Castiel was about as emotive as the first time Dean and he had met... which was comparable to a rock. It was almost comical when he took Sam's hand and spoke of what he had been doing with Ruby. Sam's face twitched from one emotion to another while Castiel's face remained still as deep water.

The angel wasted no time getting to business, discussing the witch they had been hunting, how it was connected to Sam Hain which evidently enough was a seal... which was why the angels were even there. This was all information that the boys were able to swallow... It was when Castiel introduced Uriel that they started having problems.

Speaking of Uriel was the first time Dean had noticed any emotion from Castiel that was not 'rock' or wrath. Dean remembered very clearly when the Angel of the Lord in a bad trenchcoat shoved him around in that Kitchen. " You should show me some respect." and God help him but Dean felt chills at those words. " I dragged you out of hell. I can throw you back in."

Was that Annoyance? The emotion flickered across Castiel's face so fast that Dean almost didn't catch it. But it had been there.

"Uriel... Is a specialist."

" What Kind of specialist?" Dean's voice was quiet with fear of what Castiel might say next." What are you going to do?"

Castiel turned to Dean. " Both of you need to leave this town immediately."

" Why?"

"Because we are about to destroy it."

" That is your big plan? To smite the whole friggin town?"

" We are out of time, this Witch has to die, the Seal cannot be broken." The fact that Castiel sounded like a friggin record player really did not help the small amount of panic that was rising in Dean's chest. Then Sam spoke up and Dean felt a lump grow in his throat.

"There are a thousand people here." He said

"1,214 to be exact..." Uriel corrected.

" And you are willing to kill them ALL?"

" This isn't the first time I have... Purified a city..." The calmness in Uriel was infuriating.

The rest of the conversation... argument really was forgettable in Dean's eyes. It was Sam's voice piping up; " No, you can't do this, you're Angels... you are supposed to show mercy."

and Uriel... That feathered bastard actually chuckles. " says who." that was what broke Sam's heart. Dean was almost surprised that Sam talked about it later and all he could say to mend Sam's faith was " Babe Ruth was a dick but baseball is still a beautiful game."

And then it was a race against time to find the Witch and gank its ass. In the end they weren't able to stop the rising of Sam Hain... but they WERE able to defeat him before he did any damage. The town was essentially saved. Even though they had failed and that was good enough for Dean And apparently Castiel too.

He came to Dean the day after before they had left the town. Dean was sitting on a park bench and contemplating what had happened. Failing had never felt so... right before. They had failed in every sense of the word and Castiel explained as much, but the town had been saved.

" So your orders were to follow my orders?" Dean was perplexed

" It was a test to see how you might preform under... battlefield conditions, you might say." Castiel answered. His heart swelled slightly with pride. Before he had been so stoic for Uriel's sake. But he had been rooting for Dean all along. He has been watching Dean since before he had been given the order to raise him from Hell. Castiel knew in his heart that Dean was going to make the right choice and he didn't let him down.

" It was a Witch, not the Ted Offensive." The human quipped. The joke was made out of pure reflex but Dean did not expect Cas to actually laugh. The smile was small but it light up the Angel's eyes momentarily and Dean Decided to himself that the Angel needed to smile more often.

Castiel's heart hurt, listening to Dean. He couldn't bear to let him think that he cared so little. "These people, they're all my father's creations. They're works of art, and yet, even though you stopped Samhain, the seal was broken and we are one step closer to hell on earth, for all creation. Now that's not an expression, Dean, it's literal. You of all people should appreciate what that means."

Castiel almost couldn't believe he was saying all of this, but the words were tumbling out of him. Being close to Dean was making him remember cradling that soul in his arms. Thinking ' How can someone so flawed be so beautiful... Castiel's throat constricted in a very human way and he asked. "Can I tell you something if you promise not to tell another soul?"

Once the words were spoken, he almost wished that he would reach out into the air and grasp the waves of sound before they hit Dean's ears, but of course that was impossible, even for him.

" Okay..." After hearing all that Castiel. had Said, Dean was beginning to change his opinion of the Angel. Sure Angels were dicks but Cas... He was beginning to sound ok. Really stuck up... but ok

Castiel stole himself a moment, preparing to tell Dean something that he had barely even told to himself. "I'm not a… hammer as you say." he paused in disbelief that he was saying these words. "I have questions, I have doubts. I don't know what is right and what is wrong anymore, whether you passed or failed here." But this was not about the Angel he knew... this was about Dean and finding out how far one man could go. " But in the coming months you will have more decisions to make. I don't envy the weight that's on your shoulders, Dean. I truly don't."


	3. Chapter 3

~ **Ok Peeps here is Chapter 3. Its a little short but its in the POV of Cas. Essentially what happens when he gets demoted. . Beware, angel angst dead ahead~**

Castiel was in heaven... The perpetual Tuesday afternoon. The sun here was bright and warm, The sky a rich shade of blue. The angel sat amongst the flowers, contemplating his last meeting with his superiors. They had not been pleased with him and once again, Castiel faced uncertainty. Ever since he had raised Dean Winchester from perdition, he had been plagued with this... Uncertainty. He wished that he could go back in time to before the Winchesters when everything had been absolute.

Things had been so much simpler then. He was given an order and he followed it. But when he truly looked back on it, he realized it had never been that simple. Things were as corrupt then as they were now he had just been blind to it. Part of Cas wanted to hate Dean Winchester for making him more human, for making him question his morals and his orders. But then the memory of clutching the humans soul to his chest came back to him and he thought of those green eyes and the feeling was gone.

Castiel had never loved anything before, except for his Father. But that was more of a fearfull respectful love. It was nothing like the Love that Castiel held for this mortal. This was why he was so torn. He is given an order to wipe a town off a map and Dean makes him allow a Seal to be broken. Anna must be killed and Dean almost breaks his resolve. He goes to tell Dean that they saved a seal and that they had a victory and once more Dean makes him feel regret for the Humans.

Perhaps it is a good thing he was being... Investigated.

" There you are Castiel..." Uriel came beside him and sat on the stone bench. As per usual, the larger angel didn't seem phased by the beauty that surrounded them. The garden was an imitation of something that their father had created. But it was still so sweet. An artist might do a reproduction of the Mona Lisa but her smile will always be enigmatic.

" Hello Uriel." Uriel may be the 'funniest angel in the Garrison' but he had been rubbing Castiel's feathers the wrong way as of late. His blatant disrespect of their Father's work. God's creations. Uriel's blasphemous overtones. He was beginning to sound like Lucifer and the larger angel's admiration of their fallen brother worried Cas.

" I have received Revelation... a decision has been made."

Castiel could not keep his eyes from widening. He had spent most of the morning in council with his leaders, discussing his 'Winchester problem'. He had expected a decision from the source. He struggled to hid his surprise. It had been so much easier to hide his emotion before...

" And what is to be done?" he asked as stoically as possible.

" You have been demoted Castiel." Cas swore that he heard a note of satisfaction in Uriel's voice. He struggled to push the paranoia aside. " I am to take your place as leader of our Garrison and of the plans involving the Winchesters."

Castiel felt a pang of fear in his heart... could Uriel be lying. He prayed to his leaders later that day but sure enough it was true... The lives of the Winchesters, of Dean was in the hands of this Callous... at least he would still be there to watch over them...


End file.
